Hi, I am Catherine and I am currently readjusting to life without gambling. On this 29th January 2007, it's officially 10th year of my recovery process, but I will always remember my history with gambling addiction.
Gambling addiction took away my life without killing me, it took away my family, friends, occupation, my house, and almost ruined my love life with my husband. It cost me more than what money can buy. Also, I wasn't aware I had psychological and psychiatric problems until some years later.
I felt depressed, frustrated and angry.
I opened my eyes in a room at the hospital, I could feel my wrist wrapped up in bandages, I heard people talking about knives, but I lost conscious again. All I recall was everything going dull in nothingness. At present I understand it was a total mind and body collapse. A psychological/emotional pass out. From there I moved to a dependence/mental crisis base.
Everyone checked on me to make sure I didn't attempt killing myself. After a short while, psychiatrist began functioning with me. And as a matter of fact, I was as well a determined gambler too. For my gambling addiction, I got help from an addictions counsellor.
I have tried to quit betting on my own but felt I could handle it by myself and I wasn't successful with lots of recurrences and binges even while in ambulatory treatment. I suppose I had not arrived underneath still.
Indeed, even following a 20 day remain in an emergency focus and suicide endeavour!
It's known as DEPENDENCE. It is an ailment that is really difficult to get over. But possible. My condition didn't end there.
Not as a result of actively gambling, due to the financial constraints from this malady, I had another self-destruction trial in 2006 as it appeared I had not performed enough work in all areas of recuperation, including my financial stock-list.
First lesson? A properly balanced recovery program. But in 2006 I also only wished to be normal, live life in recovery without having to use drugs for mental/emotional problems. Hence, I ceased taking them believing it was just the gambling that was inducing my mental malady issues of PTSD, manic depression, mild mania anxiety and bipolar insomnia cycles and OCD. Just for two weeks with no medications, I was back to desperation and suicidal thoughts. My response? I consumed all my meds at ago. I had reached to that bad, black hole of gloom once again.
Back in the hospital again, another 16-day crisis centre stay and days of self-murder observation.
When discharged this time, I had learned from my mistakes that I have to use drugs to manage my mental/emotional health and happiness as they refer to this as being "dually diagnosed or dual diagnosis."
Recovery with even bad experiences, coupled with some "faith" can reveal many life lessons in recovery to us. In the event that we are not learning them, we won't see our development. Notwithstanding when you are not taking part in your inclination of enslavement, we can at present have issues emerge and life challenges in recuperation, so being readied is imperative.
In the first place, the propensities and practices that we learn and get inside any dependence and "the cycle" of any habit should be hindered and taken away for us to have a shot at a genuine fair recuperation. Balance is the key in your recuperation way also. Taking in the aptitudes and instruments in treatment and treatment to break the cycle of enslavement and clear a way to dissipate control, foreswearing, reasons, and that's just the beginning.
The next step is understanding that the remedial process is a long term procedure. It is as imperative to acknowledge as Step-one, add up to surrender.
And third, having a solid 'Relapse Prevention Plan' is essential for anyone who commences recovery and wants it for a relatively long period of time. We all understand that life situations take place. Indeed, even upbeat or positive occasions, not simply negative or terrible ones.
I feel it is the reason Gamblers Anonymous put the question forward in our combo book of "The 20 Questions" to know if you have an issue with betting. It is why they place #19.) "Did you ever have an encouragement to jubilee any great luck by some hours of gambling?" My answer was in the affirmative to the above question since I would rather relax and make merry by gambling even when I receive positive news. However, my dependence was very serious I required anything I could pick up to recover, not only Gamblers Anonymous.
I attended gatherings and met a lot of people which assisted me tremendously; the experience of other individuals with cases similar to mine kept me adequately informed of the level of deception inherent in gambling addiction. GA told me that it is crucial for me to be right by other addicts' side during their recovery, because they need us just like when I needed others' supports.
We have to begin a discussion about this still hush, hush dependence. We need to disassemble the myths that have been growing in our society about this sickness and open the eyes of the sufferer of dual diagnose. Yes, mental/enthusiastic sickness in recuperation can be a testing undertaking, however I trust by sharing some of my encounters, quality, and trust, and sharing some of my stories can be a case that recuperation is conceivable, and we can lead cheerful, sound, and beneficial lives in recuperation!